I know i’ve been a bit MIA on the blog here recently and i honestly don’t have a good excuse. The only thing i can say is that i’ve been living and learning. a lot.
Recently i got the opportunity to go to Canada to celebrate my best friend getting married and it was so lovely. The entire time i was there, love was on my mind.
Of course, you’re probably thinking “well duh, you were at a wedding”. But, i wasn’t thinking about it in that way.
While i was in Canada, i took a step away from things. From everyday life, texting people, and mostly social media. I put my phone down and focused on where i was which also gave my brain room to think(and that can be quite scary).
As i watched my best friend walk around happy as happy can be, surrounded by people with the kindest hearts, i could only think “wow, i am so happy for her. She deserves every bit of this.” But then i had this wave of thought come over my mind that said,
“you are unworthy of love”
“no one will ever love you the way he loves her”
“you’re too dirty to be loved like that”
“your past is going to prevent you from being loved”
“you aren’t attractive enough to be loved”
the list went on and on.
what a lie, hey?
The thoughts caught me a bit off guard at first. Which actually is quite odd because it’s not the first time my mind has gone to that place. But what’s so cool is that i’ve learned how to combat those thoughts and that is why i’m writing this.
So, to everyone who has had those thoughts or questioned their level of worthiness, this is for you.
Your heart is so beautiful.
It is so easy to beat yourself up for all of the bumps along the road that might have left a little damage. But a mistake does not make you a failure. A mistake doesn’t strip you of your worthiness.
Being walked away from, doesn’t strip you of your worthiness.
Being lied to doesn’t strip you of your worthiness.
Being rejected, cheated on, led on, and/or played doesn’t mean you are unworthy and it definitely doesn’t make you unworthy.
The fact that you have a soul and a beating heart inside of your body makes you worthy of love.
People will tear you down but it’s nothing compared to the tearing down we do to ourselves.
We run circles of doubt and insecurity in our minds until we reach a point of desperation and then we crash and question why our brains are too exhausted to think. But yet it becomes a vicious cycle that we continually throw ourselves into because its comfortable.
It’s comfortable for us to question our worthiness because if we outwardly express our insecurity then maybe someone will feed our desire to be affirmed.
That may sound harsh but the truth is, the lie of unworthiness starts in our minds. The best way to exterminate a weed is to go to the root.
We have to go to the place where the lie started and dig it out by the roots.
I know it’s easier said than done. And i know it’s easier sometimes to sit and soak in the lies.
i know. i get it.
Its an every day battle and it is hard.
But let me tell you, it is more exhausting to run the marathon of lies than it is to landscape your mind.
Eventually it gets easier. Once you start believing the truths, you can flip it around and throw yourself into a cycle of truth and encouragement.
YOU can start the cycle. And what’s inside will begin to flow outside and will pour into others. It’ll become second nature to you.
Because your heart was created beautifully, and so was your mind. They weren’t created to be ugly and overgrown with lies.
You are worthy of love from whoever you are seeking it from but most of all you are worthy of love from God and from yourself.
Simply put, you are worthy of love.
All my love to you,
ps. here are some ridiculous selfies to remind you not to take life too seriously xo