welp, I’m writing. And for me this week, that is an accomplishment.
Recently i have been overwhelmed with this nasty feeling of discouragement. And it has hit me right in my passion. Writing. What a jerk move, satan.
If we really get down to the root of things, I’ve been struggling with feeling inadequate. And more specifically just not feeling like my voice is reaching any farther than the four walls of my bedroom. My goal in starting a blog was to reach people. To provide hope and encouragement.
I dream of being able to stand on a stage like Sadie Robertson and speak to and encourage thousands of people but then i think to myself, “oh that will never happen” “no one wants to hear what you have to say” “you’re only 19, what advice could you possibly give to people?” Man did that crush my dreams.
I even thought, “well if i write less about religion and God, then maybe more people would read my blog”
Anyone who knows me, knows that i am not a very outgoing person. I wouldn’t necessarily say i’m shy, but my confidence level around people I’m unfamiliar with is not very high. And i love to talk to people and relate with them and i so wish i could stand on a stage and pour my heart out but even doing the announcements on Sunday makes me so nervous that i shake like a wimpy little chihuahua.
You would think that 2 years of speech and debate classes would have killed those nerves and i’d be ready to go conquer the world, but that just didn’t happen for me.
One of the biggest reasons i love blogging is because i can do that without the anxiousness of actually standing in front of people. But with every level of communication, there comes different levels of challenge and insecurity.
Now, i’m not saying all of this to be pitied. I say this because i’ve realized this week that it’s not the volume of your voice or even your crowd that matters, its the depth that your words carry.
I don’t know everything. In fact, I don’t know much at all. But if what little i do know is enough to provide one lost soul hope, then my voice has made an impact.
You see, sometimes we have to stop focusing so hard on trying to reach a big impact, and pay attention to the small impacts.
I write from my heart and my faith is a huge part of that. I had to really snap myself out of that doubtful mindset because i was on the brink of turning my blog into some sort of how-to page. (And i don’t even want to know what would have happened after that)
Everyone has a voice and i believe everyone deserves to be heard.
But don’t think that just because only one or two people are listening to you, that it’s a waste. The words you say are so so impactful whether they are positive or negative and whether they are reaching one person or thousands of people.
Proverbs 18:21 says that “Death and life are in the power of the tongue” and that couldn’t be a more powerful statement. The words you speak hold so much power.
Pastor John Gray gave this amazing sermon on the “sound of revival” and it struck so so deeply in my heart. (You should really go look it up and watch it when you have time)
One specific thing he said made such a huge imprint on my heart:
When Lucifer was in heaven, he was the worship director. He would write songs and present them to God. But his motives changed and he no longer wanted to be giving the praise but rather receiving it. But when Lucifer fell from heaven and was cast down to the earth, all of his talents and abilities fell into the dust.
God truly is the redeemer of all things.
What was Adam created from?
We were given all of the gifts and talents that the enemy once had. And the reason he hates you so much is because every time you open your mouth, it reminds him of what he used to be able to do.
Your voice is such a powerful tool. And It is so vital that we use that tool for good.
You have what you speak. And for me, that means that i will speak confidence into my own life. I will speak against any doubt. And i will be okay with the small impacts.
I encourage you to do the same.
Think about the depth in your words before you speak.
Don’t waste your time worrying about how many people will hear your voice.
God places us in the right time at the right moment. We have to trust that the tasks that He’s given us are specifically designed for us and that we were not made to do someone else’s job.
Focus on the small impacts.
You are worth so much more than your worry.
all my love,